Quirkyalone. Never heard of it? Now you know, yes, that’s me. I came across this wonderful magical word while surfing on the Internet yesterday. Headache, sore throat, cut hands, bruised knees, light fever…all my troubles seemed so far away as I jumped into this concept and found out who I am.

I am, perhaps, what you might call deeply single. Almost never ever in a relationship. Until recently, I wondered whether there might be something weird about me.”

Oh my God, how can she read my mind? Isn’t it oh-so-true about me? My mentor reckoned there must be something wrong with my biological clock, why isn’t it ticking? The ‘piggy-bird’ troop from my high school class jerked up when they discovered that I’ve never been ‘kissed with love’. My brother slapped this brutal truth onto my face ‘the ideal age for romance is long over for you’. Others simply struggle to understand why I am still single.

Even some single girls like my friend Z. can not accept the fact that people dare to put the word ‘Single’ as their relationship status on Facebook. For her, it’s like a huge sticky note hanging on your forehead, saying ‘C’mon, I’m still available, anyone interested?’ So pathetic! But others do think having some sort of ‘single status’ widely displayed is tremendously important as that may help boost their chance of recognizing, meeting and dating another single soul mate. No wonder these two housewives went into the Dragons’ Den, asking the fiery investor panel for £100,000 (yes, I’m not joking, £100,000) to manufacture and marketing their Tingotang jewelry brand. Cufflinks, key rings, pendants, bracelets, badges…you name it, all with a specific ‘single’ symbol. And no wonder our lovely investors found the idea ridiculous and showed them the door (A recent update on the pair shows that their business is actually taking off, thanks to all these clubbers who always fancy coming up to someone for a good cause). UK TV even has a show called ‘Arranged marriage’ where a so-called matching expert educates single people, their family and friends how to find a perfect half for those poor little things using their social networks. So bizarre!

“In our love-, sex- and-romance-crazed culture, marriage is still the working model, and being single, particularly if you’re a woman, is seen as a bit of a curse.”

Maybe there really exists a big curse for me. Okie, I might not be a beauty queen, but I’m not a beast. I might not have a million pounds, but I’ve never been desperate to make ends meet. I might not be a genius, but I’m not a dumb head. I might seem cold and quiet to strangers, but if you know me well enough, you’ll see the other (dark) side of me. I might not like big crowds, but I always fancy small parties with friends and family. After all, I consider myself a totally utterly normal girl, just like an average Sarah, Becky, Carolin…whoever out there. And why am I still single? Simply because I am a quirkyalone.

“Who are the quirkyalones? There are many definitions, but we’ll start with this one. Quirkyalones are people who resist the tyranny of coupledom. Oddly enough, we quirkyalones also tend to be romantics. We resist the tyranny of coupledom because we would prefer to be open to the possibilities that life has to offer than be in an unsatisfying relationship. That is, to date for the sake of dating, or be in a relationship for the sake of being part of a couple.

Quirkyalone is not anti-love. It is pro-love. It is not anti-dating. It is anti-compulsory dating. It’s an embrace of all kinds of love. Although we quirkyalones enjoy solitude, and sometimes even need and crave it, we are NOT loners. We typically have a strong network of friends. Most of us place a high premium on friendship. We’ve even been known to bring our friends on dates!”

I cannot help bringing a huge smile onto my face while reading this definition. It’s exactly what I think about this whole relationship ‘business’. The quirkyalones celebrate the beauty and pleasure of being single, and don’t give a damn shit about finding a partner just to straighten out that question mark in outsiders’ heads. I am probably a ‘womb quirkyalone’ who was born that way, rather than a ‘born-again quirkyalone’ who reaches this state through life experience. So my dear friends and family, please bear with me for a while before that Mr Right comes up. You know when a quirkyalone falls in love, there will be an earthquake.

Advertisements